


GOOD TO YOU

by ayumihayashi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Break Up, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, yuta cheated but it's not in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:15:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24074293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayumihayashi/pseuds/ayumihayashi
Summary: Did it have to be me? Why did you do that? Was it a sin to love you? Why am I the only one hurting?
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	GOOD TO YOU

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this while listening to good to you and come back home by 2NE1. word vomit.

When Jaehyun woke up, Yuta wasn't there anymore. He did not know where the older was, nor when he left. He just left, like that, like yesterday did not happened. Gone. Like always.

The next thing he knows is that he is crying. Silently though, but the fat, hot tears running down his soft face are enough to remind him how pathetic he must look, crying over someone who obviously does not care and will probably never. Jaehyun did not know what to do. He did not know how to breath. He could barely remember how to think.

_Does it makes you feel good when you hurt me?_

He blindly grabbed his phone from the bedside table, hesitantly clicking on Yuta's number.

It rang.

Yuta picked up just before Jaehyun almost hung up.

" _Jaehyun?_ "

"Where are you?" the sigh on the other end was enough for Jaehyun to understand. The younger hold back more tears from falling, swallowing with some difficulty. He already knows what Yuta was going to say. " _It doesn't matter_."

"Where the fuck are you hyung?" he said, louder than before. The anger is bubbling up in his chest. Leaving an uncomfortable itching sensation on his skin. His cheeks burning up, not from shyness this time, the shyness he felt each time Yuta held his hand or kissed his petal pink lips.

" _I_ _'m leaving."_

"What do you mean you're leaving?" he was confused now. 

" _I mean that I'm leaving, Yoonoh_." Jaehyun could hear Yuta sigh deeply once again.

"W-why? You don't want me?" he tried out the words that felt weird rolling on his tongue. "Was I nothing to you?" it was not anger anymore. Sadness, humiliation, despair maybe.

" _Yeah Jaehyun, you are nothing to me._ " Yuta spoke the words slowly and coldly, making sure Jaehyun caught them. 

It hurts deep inside of his pathetic beaten up heart that struggled to stay alive. That painful sensation running in his veins, making his pulse beat faster and louder in his ringing ears. It felt like the world stopped moving but moved too fast at the same time. He did not even felt the tears rolling down his pink cheeks like a waterfall, all he could feel was the knot stuck in his throat and that painful stabbing sensation in his weak heart. He felt used and naive. Naive to think that someone like Yuta would love and cherish him for ever. Naive to think thag anyone would ever fall for him. Naive to let people in his life and heart that easily without thinking twice.

There was a pause as Jaehyun repeated the words in his head a few times. _You are nothing to me. I'm leaving. Nothing to me. Leaving. Nothing._

Nothing.

The line went dead.

Time is one of the most terrifying thing man has ever encountered. It dictates everything that happens from the moment you’re born to the moment you die and every details in between. The concept of time is enough to make even the strongest person paranoid. Time is a tough concept that Jaehyun does not understand sometimes. How something so important and present can be so vile at the same time?

He stayed up until the numbers on the digital clock turned to 11:10. He waited patiently, he had nothing to lose. He could pray, he could wish. Jaehyun could do anything to remove any trace of Yuta in his memory. The number changed. 11:11. And Jaehyun made a wish for Yuta. He doesn't know why. He doesn't know how. He just did it. He made a wish for him, him with his smooth skin and fluffy hair. For his soft like velvet lips. Maybe it is selfish to make a wish for someone. Maybe it is wrong. Just a hour later, when the red numbers on the clock changed to 12:11, he realized that he made a wish for him, and now all he wanted was to leave him and never see him again.

But part of him hoped Yuta would come back. Tell him it was a dumb joke. What else could he do? It was delusional but he still hoped.

He dumped the pills in his palm. Holding one of the pills between his fingertips, Jaehyun stood there, hands shaking, rolling the pill between his thumb and forefinger, and stared at the mirror. 

_Maybe I was too good for you, it’s no use being good._

**Author's Note:**

> comments are welcome, hope you liked it.
> 
> follow me/come talk to me on twitter: [@taeilsyndrome](https://t.co/GUR4UKbqXG)


End file.
